Learning to relax again Tuesday, June 01, 2010
So during my first full day of unemployment I ran, biked, laid out in the sun, knitted while listening to NPR (outside), read some and then took another bike ride and organized some of my knitting needles (whoa boy, organizing knitting needles? That is exciting stuff right there- isn't it?)Seriously.
Kind of sounds awesome, doesn't it? Well, perhaps not the part about organizing knitting needles.
It was, but honestly- I've been running full tilt for the last 2 months that all this time off I'm not entirely sure how to handle it anymore. For example, two weeks ago I was in Florida for 4 days for work, home for one, drove to Cleveland and back in less than 24 hours, packed a bunch boxes, went to my going away party, and had a house guest. All those things in 7 days.
Now I know I should be exhausted, and I am a bit...but I had Sunday and Monday of this week to do very little and so by today I was just ready to bust on out and do stuff.
Perhaps I should recap moving? Eh, it was moving- same as it ever is...too much crap and by 6pm that night I was just throwing shit away. Every single hanger I owned, a whole bottle of bleach, random cake boards I'd never used, old duplicate photos, a storage bin I'd had since I was 18, etc. There just wasn't room for them and they are all things easily replaced. My storage until was packed to the ceiling, my dad's car was filled with my stuff and so was my car. WHY do I have so much fucking shit? WHY?
I'm hoping to get every penny of my deposit back, and my mom was a champ at the cleaning of the apartment and it looked great. I'll need every penny to fund my unemployed summer of laziness plus a deposit on an apartment in Milwaukee and then paying the rent and utilities until I get on feet. Oh and money to buy food would be nice.
I'm not so secretly hoping that with all this free time I'll really get in some good bike rides and running, by the time the summer is over I'll have really amazing calves and thigh muscles. Then of course I'll have to figure out how to deal with the slow return of my regular body once I lose a majority of my free time due to a job and classes in the fall.
But I will know that for one glorious summer when I was 30 my calves were at their most athletically awesomest.
Labels: Awesomeness, bike, cleveland, knitting, reading, running, school
Artist Statement Monday, April 06, 2009
Lets not discuss my non-training for that half-marathon or those triathlons I've scheduled for this summer. Or my bastard shoulder which I may have sort of dislocated a couple of weeks ago and is still sort of sore. Should make swimming awesome.Instead I want to share with you all my 12 year old nephew's artist statement from a recent art show he was chosen for. Please keep in mind that a good portion of the time he acts like octogenarian:
For me, drawing and painting are nothing new. I have, for years, kept journal of art work and some page-long descriptions of them. Having three sisters in the same house can get hectic, so I often find myself locked in my room drawing, looking for inspiration or simply reading a book. Most of inspiration comes from family members, books, clouds, just about everywhere. This art work came to me from my bedroom window. There are three trees. At night when the light and horizon are just right, this is how it looks from my perspective. The tree in the middle is the tallest, and the other two are like children. When they are no in silhouette, they are abundant in cardinals, bluebirds and hummingbirds.
-James
Isn't he totally awesome?
Labels: Awesomeness, lazy, running, triathlon
Sunday Night Musical Sunday, March 08, 2009
I'm one of those people who really listen to lyrics, I realize this may sound like a completely ridiculous thing to say as most people tend to listen to lyrics. I tend to judge a song based on whether or not I like them (exception: Gym music. I don't give a care if your lyrics are total shit but if you have a good fast baseline to which I can run my little heart out to then you are ok.) But there are certain lyrics that tend to piss me off, 18 year olds singing about being rescued and never having to be alone for one. Seriously you are 18, you probably need to be alone a bit. Also songs about being cruel and mean (see: Toby Keith's How Do You Like Me Now?)Another category: songs about cheating. Piss me off to no end. I can't explain it, I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge) or cheated on someone. Example Rihanna's Unfaithful:
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Yeah, fuck you. You have two options A. STOP CHEATING or B. Leave your boyfriend. God. It's not that hard. Plus stop saying "murderer" all goddamn weird, it's bad enough that you mangled the word "umbrella" in your other song.
Then this weekend I was listening to the radio and they played Baby, baby, baby by TLC:
Long as you know that I could have any man I want to
Baby that's actual and factual
But still I choose you to be with me
And work on me so you better not flake it up
Oh holy jesus. Conceited much? Is that really something you should say to someone you supposedly love? Yes, I realize that I'm getting angry over a song that was popular in 1992. 17 years people, maybe I need help?
Labels: embarassing, running
Oversharing. It's awesome. Thursday, February 19, 2009
I've lately decided besides all the nice normal reasons for wanting a boyfriend (love, sex, companionship- i.e. the basics) there would be some definite other upsides to having someone else around.1. At least it wouldn't seem like I was talking to myself at home, I could just pretend I was actually talking to the other person.
2. Someone to put lotion on the spot of your back that you can't reach no matter which way you try to contort yourself. Seriously, WTF is with this section always being exceptionally dry and hurty and itchy. It's a real fucking pisser.
3. Cheer with me while I watch sports (uh, hopefully we like the same teams). I realize this is sort of related to #1. Plus this will keep me from eating all the hanky panks myself.
4. Have you ever tried to flip a queen size mattress on your own? It's unbelievably hard (that's what she said!...sorry, I couldn't resist) and one of these days I fully expect mid-flippage that I'll lose my grip on it and the entire thing will come crashing down and pin me against the floor. And when I call for help there will be no one to hear me, perhaps I should just get a Med-Alert call button for situations like this?
5. Someone else to peek outside when they hear some loud banging noise that cannot be identified. About 50% of the time I'm fully convinced that I'll pull back the shade and there will be a serial killer standing there banging my trashcan lid against the grill. It would be nice if someone else could look outside and tell me to stop being such a crazy.
6. I'm absolutely worried that this last one will make you think I'm a total freak, more freaktastic than someone who wants a boyfriend to rub lotion on her back and check the backyard for scary axe wielding murders while she talks to herself. Every so often (a couple of days after a hard workout) it would be nice if someone rubbed my bottom. Yes, right. The bottom area or not so delicately: my ass. I can't help it. It gets tight and sore and my hamstrings feel like the are being shredded every time I move ( I know hamstrings are not located in the bottom- but they are connected and it all hurts so I include them). Oh and I stretch all the time. I try to get massages once a month to help keep injuries at bay (do this, it's magical how many fewer injuries I get) and I always make sure to ask that they "loosen up my hips, whicharetightfromrunning". Oh holy fuck, this totally makes it sound like I'm going to some back alley "massage parlor" looking for sex instead of a real massage. Damnit. I give up. I probably should delete this whole last one and just call it a fucking day and be done with it.
In summation, my butt gets sore from working out, it would be nice if my hypothetical boyfriend would like to occasionally make it feel better. THE END.
Labels: dating, embarassing, gym, running, triathlon
Chip Chop Chip Monday, February 16, 2009
I was supposed to start training today for the half-marathon I signed up for months ago but somehow I find myself at home and cleaning instead (but I am dancing around to music while I do it- sort of like cardio, right?). I will get up tomorrow and go to the gym in the morning before work and run, probably huff through a couple of minutes and then want to die. I'll admit I've not been running since the beginning of January right before the cold/sinus congestion from hell set in. That lovely little bastard knocked me on my ass for over a month, which is why my stomach currently looks like it's a soft pillow.Lets not even talk about swimming, ha. My suit suddenly became entirely see-through especially in the backside and I was flashing people at pool. Lovely, right? So now I need to purchase a new suit but I keep forgetting the stupid gift card for Dicks when I'm near one. Bah.
I'm finally going to purchase a new goddamn bike. It might mean that I'm not going to pay off that credit card like I planned which isn't very responsible is it? Bah. Sleek little road bike, come to me. I love you.
Labels: bike, gym, lazy, photos, running, triathlon
Greater Cleveland Triathlon Saturday, August 16, 2008
Race Report #2: Awesome. (Ok, I promise I'll try not to use that word so damn much)Saturday afternoon my mom and I went out to the race site to pick up my packet, I'd already checked the bike course and knew what to expect there (a couple good sized hills) and the run course was nice a flat- the water, now there was the variable. Seriously, I nearly fell over dead when I saw the water and course markers. Nothing like waves and swimming against a current that seemed to be moving horizontally to the shore. A couple of the other racers were in the water giving a try and seemed to be doing ok -then again these were like the super swimmers. The top notch of the notches. Me, I'm in the upper 1/2 of the notches but not top, honestly.
That night I eagerly watched the weather and nothing calms a triathlete's racing heart and head like the words "Small craft advisory". Crap. Dreams involving drowning and sucking in great lung fulls of water followed by a tragic picture in the paper featuring myself in a wetsuit which makes me resemble a lame seal.
But the morning of the race they called off the swim portion, because the water looked like this:
Holy hell, the water was rough and choppy and the sky looked crazy.
It was unseasonably cool as well, mid-50's in the morning and maybe warming up to be in the upper 50's low 60's by the time the race was over. Because the swim was out, they added in a 1.2 mile run to start the race- so the tri because a dual-athon. Which is minorly disappointing since triathlete and triathlon sounds so much more impressive, no?
Anyways, the bike was good, sections of it were pretty windy though but I felt relaxed and just enjoyed myself. I was pretty stoked when one of the international distance guys came up behind me and said "Kudos to you for hauling on that bike!" This made me so freaking giddy I peddled just a bit harder after that. (I ride a big clunky hybrid while everyone else in the race, except two other riders, were on sleek road bikes).
The run was decent, I did have a few rough spots where the water I consumed on the bike sloshed about so much that I felt a little sick. So I walked when I felt that it, and ran the rest.
I LOVED the people on course, both the volunteers, the crowds and the racers. HUGELY different than the group last week, lots of encouragement which really means a lot to me. Besides the 'kudos' comment, a lot of people exchanged "good job!" with each other, from the announcer as I came back in from the ride portion "Look at her riding that huge bike!", I also got a "Keep it up Athens!" and a "I LOVE your jersey!"
Plus, kick ass goody bags with SWEET shirts, hair ties, carb gels, lotion, Triathlete magazine, several Gatorade products, Cliff Shot Bloks (salty goodness), and a bunch of other stuff I'm forgetting. As you came across the finish you got a medal, which is my first medal ever. I LOVE it. I didn't place but I want to wear that medal around my neck for a long while. I may be wearing it right now. Shhh.
And even though it's not a one to one ratio race wise I did it in 1 hour 53 minutes which about 11 minutes faster than my race time last year for a sort of equal distance (although this course was harder).
Starting the 5k:
And DONE!
I think this will be my last race of the season. I'm really fighting with myself since I'd like to do another one but I'd also like to enjoy the rest of the summer and not have to keep training so hard. Plus I can put the race fees towards a road bike so that I can knock some time off my cycling portion. But part of me is sad that this is it for the year, but it's good to end on a high note- right?
Labels: cleveland, photos, running, triathlon
Cleveland Triathlon Race Report Wednesday, August 06, 2008
So the truth of the matter is that I am probably entirely too hard on myself. In my head I fixate on the way I think I should be performing during triathlons and then when I realize I just can't do what I imagined I get down. Way down. Crying-in-the-corner, clutching-a-bottle-of-gin-muttering "dumb, slow-wanker" over-and-over-again down.It doesn't help matters that I got fucking schooled by an 8 year old. Yeah, that's right- an 8 year old finished before I did. WTF? EIGHT. MOTHER-FUCKING-EIGHT.
It's a tiny bit hard not to beat oneself up when someone who is 20 years your junior totally kicks your ass and that person hasn't even hit puberty yet. Although in the end I win, because I'm an adult and can eat ice cream for breakfast and a candy bar for lunch while jumping up and down on my bed legally swilling gin and he can't. So suck on that Mr. 8 year old.*
Today someone told me that some races are for learning and not for rocking. I guess that is the way I can sum up Sunday's race, it was all about learning. Swimming in the Lake Erie harbor was actually pretty cool- the fear of water where I can't see the bottom is getting better. The course was surrounded by the cool Science Center and the Rock Hall and the William G. Mather, so there was plenty of interesting things to look at. And they closed down the innerbelt of the shoreway for the race- which if you are familiar at all with Cleveland is one of the main arties out of the city. I wish I had enjoyed the view more but I was battling hellish wind off the lake and some wicked hills. And depending on which distance you were doing you got to hit them a repeatedly. So maybe they weren't such a big deal to the pros but for me those long, slow climbs were a tiny challenge. But I did it and I didn't stop- I just kept peddling.
The swim though, the part I usually feel like I rock, was hard for me this go. I got kicked hard in the stomach twice, which caused me to inhale the lovely water of Lake Erie. In turn causing me choke and then have a hard time catching my breath. After I exited the water I was still coughing up some of the water and spent about 45 seconds bent over at the waist trying to catch my breath. For someone who prides herself on being a strong swimmer I was hella disappointed in my performance. 7:04 for a 300 meter swim.
Sometimes I get pissy with myself because I feel like I'm using the fact that I got kicked twice as a crutch for being so winded and craptastic in the swim portion. And then part of me is really glad I came out of that water and wanted to quit so badly but I sucked it up and got on that damn bike and went, dare I say I'm proud of myself? Conflicting emotions, it's awesome.
Swim: 7:08 (300m)
T1: 4:45
Bike: 44:40 (8 miles)
T2: :57
Run: 21:41 (1.5 miles)
Total: 1hr 19 min.
So this weekend, at race #2 (a longer and harder race) I'm just going to have some fun. I don't care how long it takes me, or how many times I get passed, I'm just going to do it. Fuck yeah.
My number:
In Lake Erie (Science Center in the background):
*Ok, I'm not really trying to knock the 8 year old triathlete around. I think it is quite awesome that he did but that doesn't mean I'm above a little shit talking in order to sooth my wounded ego. I never said I wasn't a minorly petty person under particular circumstances.
Labels: bike, cleveland, photos, running, triathlon
Bits Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Ok, I love the song New York Minute by Don Henley (and a bunch of other guys). But listening to it makes me wonder what the hell is so special about a New York Minute. Is is faster or slower? WHAT? Isn't the amount of time in a minute universal (unless you are in space which I think time is measured differently or is that only on other planets? Am I completely making shit up now? Probably.)Speaking of time, I'm still having a bit of a rough go of adjusting to working part time in addition to working full time. In addition to training for a triathlon. But after tomorrow I have a whole week off or so and I'm going to spend every breathing minute in the gym. Or riding my bike. Except for Thursday afternoon during which I'll be getting a massage. A much needed massage as my stupid back decided that it would be a good time to freak the fuck out. I slept horribly waking every hour or so in pain, not including the awesomely weird dreams that I had that I was training to climb Mount Everest (a direct result of reading Into Thin Air before bed. Seriously go get this book and read it. It's amazing.)
I went to gym once last week. ONCE. I was so messed in the head with the sinus issues that I could barely think straight and running or any physical activity made me want to die. But this week is off to a much better start, I ran last night for 35 minutes (2 minute warm up) and clocked in 2.9 miles. 3.2 miles with the cool down. I'm mightily impressed with myself and at some point when I stop being amazed that I can run any sort of distance I'm sure I'll shut the hell up about it. But until then I'm going to talk about it until everyone wants to beat me to death with their keyboards or break my feet thus rendering me unable to run ever again.
Lets hit up the way back machine and discuss running- college style. We've already covered why I started and why I stopped running college but I've not touched on the awesomely embarrassing thing that I did while running one time. Lets be honest, I'm of average height (5'4") and possess a curvy figure albeit one that can be athletic and strong. So at the start of my running in college I was strictly a treadmill sort of person and we went early in the morning (7am is EARLY for college people, ok.) One morning and very tall and lovely European student got on the treadmill next to me. She was everything I'm not, TALL and lithe and blond. Whereas I'm short and a wee bit stocky and dark.
Never in a million years could I ever hope to keep up with her gazelle-like stride or pace but I was holding my own slow even canter (yes, canter like a horse or whatever). I have this thing where I HATE, with the fire of a thousand suns, being able to see the time click by on the onscreen display. It makes me crazy because time seems to move so much slower that way. So I toss my little gym towel over it so I can't see it. At some point about 15 minutes in the towel falls off and slips by my feet on the treadmill. Here is where things break down.
Not thinking AT ALL, I come to a dead stop on the treadmill while the damn belt is still running. This shoots me off the back of the treadmill like a rocket and into the wall behind me. Glorious, no? I'm alternately laughing and crying a little bit and the Blond Gazelle next to me stops running and rushes over to make sure I'm ok. I am, just horribly embarrassed.
Aannnd Scene!
Labels: gym, running, triathlon
Clodhopper Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I've been running, twice exactly. And while my speed nor the distance I can do, 2 miles** (with some walking breaks tossed in there) isn't earth shattering- it is running. Albeit slowly. It's still not my favorite activity and I doubt it ever will be, yet there is something so alluring about running and the cult that surrounds it. I love the way runners talk about how it is just them and the road, a single, solitary activity with no judgment- just footfall after footfall. The runner's high, those sleek, gazelle-like legs, the steady gate...I want all of it. Although I fear I'll never have those lovely, shapely legs and my gate will always resemble a Clydesdale.My Dad has always been a runner, for as long as I can remember he would don his running shoes and slip out of the house to pound away on the pavement. In my younger years I remember the torture he would inflict upon us by making us run with him in the middle of summer. In TEXAS. Our Mother would slowly follow behind us in that massive van she used to drive just in case one of us died of heat exhaustion. I could never make it very long and would eventually end up in the van with my mother. My brother on the other hand was a natural, born to the heat and pavement like it was his destiny. There was no end to the love and affection our Father felt about this, he loved that his only son was a runner- just like him. Some sort of triumph of genetics, while his daughters eschewed the very activity. I was always more of a waterbaby, excelling at racing to the end of the pool lane, flipping and coming back for more. I have the powershoulders of a butterfly-er that I've never been able to get rid of.
In college I attempted to be a runner, and for quite some time succeeded. I was running about 3 miles a day and while this was no great distance to do in one go, it was quite an achievement for someone so prone to disliking the sport. But this was also during the period of my life at which I flirted with messed up eating habits, living on diet ginger ale, celery and one cup a rice a day. Complete and utter ridiculousness, looking back and that time I'll admit I'm ashamed. In the end, though, I stopped running. Not because my body gave up from pure exhaustion or lack of nutrition- because really it was surprising on how far I could go on that one cup of rice a day but rather it was the doctor that told me I had to stop. A couple of months into my running I began to develop the most debilitating back pain- when not running I was hunched over like an old crone barely able to pick up my book bag. Turns out the combination of running and the huge breasts I had were messing up my back so badly (oh, the bouncing- I couldn't bare to have a treadmill facing the mirrors, it was like a horrible fun house mirror except REAL). So I quit and the back pain subsided somewhat. The dumb eating bullshit sort of started to clear up too, although it would take me more than a year and half to fully kick it's ass and realize how unbelievably stupid not eating was.
Then I didn't run again for 6 years, until last year (this time with much smaller breasts thanks to my plastic surgeon). There wasn't any painful bouncing or back pain, although a high impact bra is still in order (ladies, Enell is your savior- I don't exercise without mine. No bounce EVER.) Yet, I still didn't love it and it was the part of my triathlon training I neglected the most, figuring if worse came to worse I would walk it. And I did walk a good bit of it, this year I'd like it to be different. I'd like to be better at running, last year it was biking that I so desperately wanted to do well at and that didn't go exactly as planned. The point of all of this is that I'm trying, I'm trying to make myself a runner. It could end in failure yet again, or just something I can do but still don't love.
But I hope not.
Oh, and to answer Shannon's question about which Tris I am going to do, The Cleveland Triathlon Mini Sprint, August 3rd and the Greater Cleveland Triathlon Sprint on August 10th. Perhaps one more in September in Akron based on how those go. I've opted for Cleveland ones because while I LOVED the all women's Triathlon in Sylvania Ohio it just so far from my home and at one point on the drive home I thought I would pass out at the wheel from exhaustion. Just totally drained, and if I race in Cleveland I can stay the night at my parents house and relax without having to worry about that. Not driving off the road = good.
**ok, I wrote this post before I left for the gym today and I'm proud to report that I've now run three times. This last one for 2 miles (22 minutes) without stopping! Dude. WITHOUT STOPPING. I feel awesome. AWESOME.
The whole time I was running I was like "Oh my god, I'm rocking this. Look at MEEEEE! I'm running!"
Labels: Awesomeness, gym, running, triathlon
