Ah, The Colbert

There are no words needed:

Sound of Silence

I enjoy the quiet. A quiet house with no background television noise, radio or ringing phone. Sometimes it is wonderful just to sit in silence.

Unfortunately that doesn't often happen living where I do, there is always some sort of noise. Someone overhead cranking the radio in the shower because god forbid if they aren't entertained every moment. People talking in the hallway, the television blaring in the common room even though there isn't a single person in it, and I could go on and on.

I have a cell phone. I love it. But if I'm out to dinner/drinks with friends I won't answer it. Unless it is my mom, and then I tell her I'll call her back later. My mother has been known to freak out on occasion thinking that I'm dead on the side of the road killed by the latest serial killer de jur if I don't answer my phone. It is just easier to answer it when she calls than have a SWAT team bust up a lovely party you are at because they heard you were missing.

And it isn't just my mom, my dad does it too. He once heard that someone fell off a cliff in California and was completely convinced it was my sister because she wasn't answering her phone. I guess they have perpetual paranoia that something bad is going to happen to their children, I wonder if this is true for all parents or if my are especially neurotic?

But I digress, I don't answer the cell all the time. The constant contact we can have with people today is more than a little disconcerting.

And while I'm at it, I hate ring-tones. I don't need to hear the latest Pussycat Dolls or some other shit every time a phone rings.

Shirley Temple hell.

In a long and torturous process known as new member recruitment for an unnamed college organization there comes a moment when you just feel like chucking a drink at the wall.


Could it be the incessant questions like this one:

"So what have you been doing today?"

While you are standing in a kitchen with a pitcher of Shirley Temples in one hand and plethora of single servings of said Shirley Temples in front of you.

She-Ra Princess of Power

Thats right, call me She-Ra. I spent a good portion of Sunday and Monday hauling 40 pound bags of mulch up my driveway to put down in the garden. 67 bags to be exact.


That means I hauled 2680 pounds!


And when I say hauled I mean picked up and carried. My wheelbarrow was broken and I could not fit it in my Honda Civic (I tried). So I had to pick up and carry each and every one of those goddamn bags. But the garden looks fantastic, I just need to go get a shop broom to sweep the driveway and tidy up the edges. And hose off the brick sidewalk.

Granted today I am barely holding in the tears because my legs and arms hurt so bad. I'm holding on the phone right now to schedule a massage appointment. I think I've earned it.

Lemon Massacre

It was awful, and it was all at my hands. I killed 2 bags of lemons in pursuit of lemon cake. I have to admit the cake was well worth the massacre.

The following morning was one of those days. I just couldn't get out of the house on time to save my life, a million little things cropped up and I was running 15 minutes late. But I needed a cup of coffee-something I don't indulge in every day.

I spilled the entire cup on the floor while still inside the coffee shop. Shit.

Then I got some on my shirt while I was driving to the office. Shit.

I had to scramble at work to get some last minute projects that cropped up done. I barely made it.

Then I had to come home and install this stupid complicated lock on my backdoor. It took 3 hours thus causing me to miss my company picnic.

So what do you do when you have a no good, very bad, shitty day. Poor yourself a glass of wine and since you have no wine glasses use a jelly jar.

I'm pure class.