I did it, I grew radishes.

Not a terribly large accomplishment but I'm pretty damn pleased with myself. Now I just need to figure out what to do with them.

Any suggestions?

Summer and babies

I became a new Auntie the other day, well, for the 4th time. My sister had a little tiny baby who is all adorableness and sweetness. I'll be making the trip sometime soon to go visit her (she lives in another state), as soon as I get our most recent catalog to bed.

There are only 2 more weeks till the students vacate this town and frankly I can't wait. Summers here are so lovely, a respite from the insanity of the school year. No more loudness over my head at 2-am from drunken students, rather the calm quiet that descends on this town. In the summers I sit on my porch in the evening twilight and drink an adult beverage (last summer it was spicy bloody marys with blue cheese stuffed or garlic stuffed olives). Don't you just love my poeticness about summer, I'm like freaking Mark Twain in that regard (and I just totally made up the word poeticness- so deal with it).

With summer nearly upon me, I'm trying to plan some trips around the country. I'm hoping to visit my college roommate in New York (my home away from home). Maybe I'll try to wait till the fall to go, but regardless of when I go I'm going to be getting Corner Bistro several times. I'm also planning on zipping down to see the lovely Unemployed Cook soon, although I need to check with her schedule and see when she can fit me in. Also I will need to fast for a week before hand in order to stuff myself with the most glorious food ever.

I ramble

The last week or so I've been feeling extraordinarily pepped up. It could be the lines of cocaine I've been doing or just a general change in diet combined with the way the stars are aligning. I don't know, but I like it.

I don't want it go away, whatever it is.

Although yesterday was a bit of a lazy day, lots of sitting my ass on the couch. The weather here has been cold and rainy for- like-ever. Well at least this is day 6 of it and they say it isn't going to be abated for at least 5 more. Whatever, weathermen know crap. At least my weathermen know nothing, yet I'm entranced by a good Doppler radar map. I could watch it for hours.

I'm real weird.

And as if that confession wasn't enough to change your opinion on my quintessential dorkdom this certainly will. I love music. What? I know that seems like an uber-stupid statement to make considering I would for a company involved in the music industry but lately I've been grooving on some music that really hits home and makes me want to perform embarrassing rocking/hand gestures/head bobbing while sitting at my desk in full view of my coworkers.

Not really a big deal though, because last week we could hear the screeching of a guitar so loudly from one coworker's headphones that my friend and I got up and did air guitar solos in front of his desk. Later that afternoon I caught my friend, near violently, bobbing her head to some White Stripes song. I laughed at her.

Least you think I can control myself I have been caught several times doing the exact same thing, even mouthing the word to whatever I was listening too (which, um, happened to be Air Supply).

I love my office.

And music.

And Doppler radar.


This last weekend I got to escape to the lovely city of Toledo, Ohio. I hope just by reading that sentence you can hear the sarcasm that it implies.

For years I've heard my brother talk about what a broken city it is and I never really believed him. How bad could it be? It couldn't be that bad. And I base most of my judgments on the my litmus test-my former block in Brooklyn. It was not the prettiest block in the world, in fact it looked downright scary. But it was just a block and half from the nice neighborhood of park slope, so I dealt with it.

But Toledo, crap. Words cannot describe what a depressing town it was, it really opened my eyes to the ravages left behind in former steel communities. I grew up in Cleveland (well, a suburb) and it too was a former steel town, but has managed to bounce back in a way that Toledo hasn't. It was all very sad.

The reason for my visit was a much happier one, in fact it was cause for Celebration (yes, with a capitol c).

My baby brother graduated from college.

It was totally awesome.

All four of us kids have graduated from college. This is quite a feat considering that neither of our parents went to college (my dad did take some courses in his 30s at the local community college). My dad's one and only dream was to have all of his kids have college educations, and we (the kids) were able to give that to him.

Friday night was like a giant family reunion of sorts, my parents, my maternal grandparents, my aunt, my sister and brother-in-law and their adorable children. Everyone save my Dad, my brother and my brother-in-law ventured down to the pool on Friday evening.

I would like to take a moment to point out that we were staying at the swank hotel in Toledo- The Wyndam. Rooms are a bit pricey so we expected a more upscale clientele.

The pool looked like Super 8 after a Nascar race. Now maybe that isn't very nice of me, but I never said I was nice. I'm a bitch, through and through.

Almost everyone in the pool, about 15 kids in their late teens, 5 children under the age 8 and 2 adults were either wearing t-shirts and shorts or just shorts (boys). Whatever, so some people forgot their suits-fine. What I didn't have patience for is their behavior.

There was making out and dry (wet?) humping in the pool. Stuff totally inappropriate for public. Like Angelina Jolie making out with her brother on the red carpet inappropriate.

But the most amazing thing was the teenager who had a rat tail (who-in this day and age still has rat tails?). It was long a flowing, all. the. way. to. his. ass.

I SO wanted to swim over to him and yank that faux pony out of his head. But I restrained myself because his girlfriend looked like it would be above her to get all WWE on my ass.

And thus end my tail (har!) of my weekend.


Right now it is my sin of choice. I've got a lust list a mile long that includes things like: new tennis shoes, new jeans (dear baby jesus, I need jeans like it is nobodies business), various other articles of clothes, more plants, a new ipod (because my non-video ipod is so last year) and a boyfriend. Or at least someone to hook up with.

The men situation here in this town is much like the seafood situation I mentioned in prior post. It most certainly is not a buyers market. In fact the market is almost strictly limited to those who are 22 and under (if you haven't guessed it I live in a college town.) And to be completely honest I'm not interested in dating a 22 year old college senior, fun as though they may be I'm getting too old for some of that shit. The only person I've been mildly interested in the last year has a girlfriend, and I'm not even sure I want to date him- but he makes me laugh and that is A.#1 in my book. It also doesn't hurt that he is a redhead and I have a soft spot for redheaded men.

But since I'm not a lady of the homewrecking type, I'll leave it alone.

I've done it all, blind dates, internet dating, meeting someone at a bar, dating friends, etc, etc, etc. Yet, here I am-still single. I'm a catch, so why no mens? I don't know. One of the great mysteries, me and the Sphinx.

Shall I share some of my more humorous dating stories? Sure, why not. Let me tell you my favorite.

I met this guy through a friend, we hit it off (granted I was a wee bit intoxicated when I met him) and he gave me his number. I never called (because frankly I was embarrassed about my drunken behavior). I ran into him again some month later and he called me out on never calling him. So I promised I would call him and we would go out. First, I suggested several options none of which he had any opinion on. Finally we settled on a movie and since I'd come directly from work and we had some time to kill I suggested appetizers at bar before the movie started.

Here is where things started to go downhill. Fast.

We sit down and I am looking at the menu trying to decide what to order. I ask him what looks good, this is when he confesses to me that he doesn't eat.


That's right, he is not a big fan of eating. He tells me it makes his pants not fit. I should preface this whole conversation that he is about 5'11 and weighs maybe 130 lbs.

I order food because I'm starving (he totally sat across the table and watched me eat and took maybe two bites of food). I ask him what he does for a living, he tells me he is chef.

Then he tells me he is having issues with work right now and is thinking about leaving. I ask him what sort of issues, thinking it is a mean boss or crappy pay.

He said "They are making me take anger management classes because I threw a hot frying pan at a waitress."

My heart stopped. I looked for the exit, wishing I had a reason to escape right now because the only thing I could think of was someday we would get in a fight and he would throw me up against an entertainment center and then give me a black eye.

But there was no escape. None.

We went and saw the movie, he refused to even make a decision about where we would sit in the movie theater. Which, looking back, was totally small potatoes compared to the bomb he had dropped at dinner.

He called to ask me out again and I begged off. Then I just started avoiding his calls (not answering), but he continued to call me at least once a week for 6 months. Often from other people's phones in the hopes that I would pick up.

I'm not a fan of blowing someone off, I think it is lame but this situation was unique considering our mutual friend's feelings and the fact that he clearly had anger issues.

There you have it, my very bad, no good, awful date of all time