Lust Wednesday, May 03, 2006Right now it is my sin of choice. I've got a lust list a mile long that includes things like: new tennis shoes, new jeans (dear baby jesus, I need jeans like it is nobodies business), various other articles of clothes, more plants, a new ipod (because my non-video ipod is so last year) and a boyfriend. Or at least someone to hook up with.
The men situation here in this town is much like the seafood situation I mentioned in prior post. It most certainly is not a buyers market. In fact the market is almost strictly limited to those who are 22 and under (if you haven't guessed it I live in a college town.) And to be completely honest I'm not interested in dating a 22 year old college senior, fun as though they may be I'm getting too old for some of that shit. The only person I've been mildly interested in the last year has a girlfriend, and I'm not even sure I want to date him- but he makes me laugh and that is A.#1 in my book. It also doesn't hurt that he is a redhead and I have a soft spot for redheaded men.
But since I'm not a lady of the homewrecking type, I'll leave it alone.
I've done it all, blind dates, internet dating, meeting someone at a bar, dating friends, etc, etc, etc. Yet, here I am-still single. I'm a catch, so why no mens? I don't know. One of the great mysteries, me and the Sphinx.
Shall I share some of my more humorous dating stories? Sure, why not. Let me tell you my favorite.
I met this guy through a friend, we hit it off (granted I was a wee bit intoxicated when I met him) and he gave me his number. I never called (because frankly I was embarrassed about my drunken behavior). I ran into him again some month later and he called me out on never calling him. So I promised I would call him and we would go out. First, I suggested several options none of which he had any opinion on. Finally we settled on a movie and since I'd come directly from work and we had some time to kill I suggested appetizers at bar before the movie started.
Here is where things started to go downhill. Fast.
We sit down and I am looking at the menu trying to decide what to order. I ask him what looks good, this is when he confesses to me that he doesn't eat.
That's right, he is not a big fan of eating. He tells me it makes his pants not fit. I should preface this whole conversation that he is about 5'11 and weighs maybe 130 lbs.
I order food because I'm starving (he totally sat across the table and watched me eat and took maybe two bites of food). I ask him what he does for a living, he tells me he is chef.
Then he tells me he is having issues with work right now and is thinking about leaving. I ask him what sort of issues, thinking it is a mean boss or crappy pay.
He said "They are making me take anger management classes because I threw a hot frying pan at a waitress."
My heart stopped. I looked for the exit, wishing I had a reason to escape right now because the only thing I could think of was someday we would get in a fight and he would throw me up against an entertainment center and then give me a black eye.
But there was no escape. None.
We went and saw the movie, he refused to even make a decision about where we would sit in the movie theater. Which, looking back, was totally small potatoes compared to the bomb he had dropped at dinner.
He called to ask me out again and I begged off. Then I just started avoiding his calls (not answering), but he continued to call me at least once a week for 6 months. Often from other people's phones in the hopes that I would pick up.
I'm not a fan of blowing someone off, I think it is lame but this situation was unique considering our mutual friend's feelings and the fact that he clearly had anger issues.
There you have it, my very bad, no good, awful date of all time