A Trollop Rants

So here I am, writing another blog. My first blog was specific and thus did not allow me to branch out and discuss the things that were not relevant to (well, I could have but I felt that no one wanted to read about my gardening when really they wanted to hear about my boob job). But I digress, and I like it. I like going off on tangents that have completely nothing to do with one another. And this is my forum to do it.

Today I'm going to write about the fun, fun, fun night I had last night. And by fun, fun, fun night I mean the most annoying night ever with the most drunken stupid assholes I've had a chance to confront. Last night at 2:45 am I was awoken to the sound of someone smashing my flower pot. And yes, I know that is it's singular form because the other 3 flower pots have all been previously smashed by other asshats. So I throw on a jacket and shoes bust on outside to pick it up and maybe catch one of the perps.

And I did! I actually caught one guy who was pee-ing against the side of my house (because what is a little piss on my house if you've already broken my flower pot), I ask him if he did this (holding my broken pot aloft). He says he didn't but his roommate did, but refuses to give me his name. I berate his drunken ass for a few minutes and he accidentally gives up his first name, Aaron. This was my favorite part of the coversation:

Me: Who is going to pay for this goddamn broken flowerpot?
Aaron: Hey! Hey! Hey! There is no reason to start swearing!
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?

Then like someone on some sort of western ranch I tell him to get the hell off my property. He starts to argue with me because I'm swearing, and I repeat to him to get the hell off my property. Then the asshat tries to shake my hand, I refuse and he acts all offended. I repeat a third time for him to leave and pretend to walk away, except as soon as he has his back turned I hide so I can see which house he walks into.

It may not be his house, but someone there knows him. I want my $30 for my flower pot goddamnit.

Should I list all the things that have been broken/stolen in the last year and half?

My huge dining room window had a beer bottle thrown through it.
All 9 of my flower boxes were ripped off my porch and thrown into my driveway.
4 broken flower pots
Driver's side mirror ripped off my car
My super expensive stand mailbox was ripped off my front porch
Broken french door window in my foyer
Baby blue paint thrown on the front of my house
Propane tank for my grill stolen
Then they came back and took my new fucking gas grill

I think that is it-I think.

Right now, I really hate college students.



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