This last weekend I got to escape to the lovely city of Toledo, Ohio. I hope just by reading that sentence you can hear the sarcasm that it implies.

For years I've heard my brother talk about what a broken city it is and I never really believed him. How bad could it be? It couldn't be that bad. And I base most of my judgments on the my litmus test-my former block in Brooklyn. It was not the prettiest block in the world, in fact it looked downright scary. But it was just a block and half from the nice neighborhood of park slope, so I dealt with it.

But Toledo, crap. Words cannot describe what a depressing town it was, it really opened my eyes to the ravages left behind in former steel communities. I grew up in Cleveland (well, a suburb) and it too was a former steel town, but has managed to bounce back in a way that Toledo hasn't. It was all very sad.

The reason for my visit was a much happier one, in fact it was cause for Celebration (yes, with a capitol c).

My baby brother graduated from college.

It was totally awesome.

All four of us kids have graduated from college. This is quite a feat considering that neither of our parents went to college (my dad did take some courses in his 30s at the local community college). My dad's one and only dream was to have all of his kids have college educations, and we (the kids) were able to give that to him.

Friday night was like a giant family reunion of sorts, my parents, my maternal grandparents, my aunt, my sister and brother-in-law and their adorable children. Everyone save my Dad, my brother and my brother-in-law ventured down to the pool on Friday evening.

I would like to take a moment to point out that we were staying at the swank hotel in Toledo- The Wyndam. Rooms are a bit pricey so we expected a more upscale clientele.

The pool looked like Super 8 after a Nascar race. Now maybe that isn't very nice of me, but I never said I was nice. I'm a bitch, through and through.

Almost everyone in the pool, about 15 kids in their late teens, 5 children under the age 8 and 2 adults were either wearing t-shirts and shorts or just shorts (boys). Whatever, so some people forgot their suits-fine. What I didn't have patience for is their behavior.

There was making out and dry (wet?) humping in the pool. Stuff totally inappropriate for public. Like Angelina Jolie making out with her brother on the red carpet inappropriate.

But the most amazing thing was the teenager who had a rat tail (who-in this day and age still has rat tails?). It was long a flowing, all. the. way. to. his. ass.

I SO wanted to swim over to him and yank that faux pony out of his head. But I restrained myself because his girlfriend looked like it would be above her to get all WWE on my ass.

And thus end my tail (har!) of my weekend.



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