Cracklin' Monday, December 22, 2008
The winter has arrived with full and epic force. Temperatures outside have been fluctuating between single digit numbers and low teens. In turn I've got the heat on and my skin has turned into the the most delicate parchment ever created. It's painfully thin feeling and tight like a drum causing itching and general uncomfortableness. Today at work I had to change into my workout pants because the feel of jeans again my legs was torture.Last year I pitched my humidifier because it was old and more than a wee bit crusty. I've yet to go out and purchase another one partially because I'm lazy and partially because they aren't cheap and random bills keep hitting me.
Like the asshats who run the town next to mine, where I got a $5 parking ticket for an expired meter in mid-October which I totally completely forgot to pay. Now I've recieved a letter from them extorting $70 or they will issue an arrest warrant. FOR FUCKING REAL. I plan on paying them their damn money with a letter to them and their chamber of commerce stating why I will never, ever fucking shop in their town again. Way to shoot yourself in the fucking foot assholes.
God. I seriously hate them right now.
Is anyone else procrastinating packing for the christmas holiday? Because I'm sitting here avoiding it and I leave tomorrow. I don't want to do it at all.
Oh, and Christmas cards this year. HA. So going to be late again. I couldn't pull my shit together enough to get them done on time, this holiday season has been far too short (as I evil-y eye the unfinished scarf that is supposed to be my mother's present). And they will in no way be as good as the idea I had for last year's, but any one here wants one you should email me. I promise I won't use your address to stalk you, although how could you really trust a girl who fails to pay a $5 parking ticket?
I speak the truth. Tuesday, December 16, 2008
You know what will kill a crush faster than anything else? Seeing said crush kiss another girl (or boy- whatever, it all works).Dead. Die. Cold.
Then you will be forced (or feel like) going home and eating copious amounts of rice pudding. Warm, comforting rice pudding never broke your heart, did it? No, it didn't.
Crushes should live on in a sort of suspended animation, always available to date but never quite achiveable. It's perfection that way, no? The reality of it can never live up to whatever one has created in your head.
And they most definitely should not kiss other people.
The end.
Of course you are. Saturday, December 06, 2008
I heard that phrase repeatedly last weekend at my high school reunion in regards to what I do for a living. It came from people who didn't know me very well as well as the people who did. Guess I was pretty ubiquitous with the camera even back in high school. 15+ year love affair one could say.To be completely honest I had a good time in high school, it was fun and I floated about somewhere in the middle of everyone. Friends with all with only a couple nemesises. It was not the time of my life and there are things I wished I done differently (like why was I hung up on my high school sweetheart and not dating all the wickedly cute boys that went to my school), but unlike (ahem) someone who declared if she could go back and re-live any school year it would be senior year. Me, no fucking thanks. I'll take college any day. Beer, friends and living without the watchful gaze of parents beats out the crap of SATs, curfews and general stupidity.
10 years later it was surprising how much everyone still looked for the most part like what they did in high school. There were only a few people I didn't recognized off the bat, and of course those bastards weren't wearing name tags. Douches.
There were two people who ended up marrying each other and that pretty much floored me. I guess I never expected two people to meet in high school and marry post-college, it feels entirely too much like something out of the 1960's. Then again perhaps I should be seeing the sweetness about meeting your love so early on, but really then I think about all those great experiences that come with drunkenly kissing someone who is totally wrong for you but so.freaking.hot that I don't think I would want to have met someone when I was 14.
Of course later in the evening I was standing next to a friend of mine snarking heavily about the door prizes which included a t-shirt with our mascot printed massively on the back (it seriously covers the whole back of the damn shirt). Just as I was ramping up for another snark filled rant they called my name. That's right, I'd won the hilarious t-shirt that LOUDLY proclaimed my awesomeness as an alumni. You bet your sweet ass I wore it to the gym this week, if only because it cracked me up. I'm absolutely positive no one else in my gym got that I was trying to be funny but I did, they probably just assumed I was a wanker. Which considering I wear the old style of headphones and not the cool earbuds (they hurt my ears) probably only reinforces their opinion of me as probably a dork.
