yeah, some stuff...

First off, I'm glad my boys of summer finally pulled their shit together sunday afternoon and racked up a win against Oakland. And with three losses under their belts (from both the White Sox and the A's) it's not exactly the start to the the season I was dreaming of this long cold winter. They'll be back in the latter half of the week to play the A's again after a 3-game series with the Angels.

Of course lately I've been all-sad-girl-dating-reject and spewing my sad-girl-dating-reject-ness all over my wonderful friends who listen. As evidence I present this IM convo I had with Kate:

me: I'm just feeling very "wah, wah...sad" girl lately. I don't want to be that awesome girl into my thirties though who everyone thinks is great but is still alone and terribly lonely.
Kate: your thirties are pretty far away, man!
me: 1.5 years. KATE WE ARE ALMOST 29!
Kate: 1.5 years is a loooooooooooooooooooong time!
me: Ugh, but at this rate I'll be 87 before I find a man. And then only because all the other girls are dead and they have to like me.
Kate: HA! omg.

I left out the part where I dramatically talk about shooting myself if this new girl in town ends up with a boyfriend before I do.

THERE IS A BOYFRIEND QUEUE PEOPLE. Line forms behind Skeezix.

Ok, not really. And I'm massively happy for anyone who finds love or a shag partner or whatever in this town.

What? Yes, I know I'm only 28 and that my thirties could be a very rich time for dating. But the dating pool in this town is pretty damn small, fuck, it might qualify as a kiddie pool. And not one of those awesome inflatable kiddie pools rather one of those molded plastic ones that are blue with frogs printed on the inside of it. You know the ones I'm talking about, they hold like a gallon of water. Lest you think that I'm kidding about the smallness of the pool, I'm quickly butting up again the maximum saturation point that allows for a comfortable degree of separation of sexual partners and friends. In my ideal world there would be at least 3 people separating me and my friends in the sexual realm. Yet, I'm hovering close to two people separating some of us. And I'm not even that slutty!

My friends, on the other hand, are total whores.

Ok, I lie. They aren't whores, almost every single one of them are all in stable, loving relationships. Which does occasionally make being the single girl out a little bit harder because they make being in/finding a relationship look so blastedly easy. And it's not, dudes. It's not.

But since I've already shared one IM conversation I feel can share TWO, and in it's perfection I would like to leave you with it as a parting thought. This is the reply my friend Tom sent me after I called him pervy:

"And yes, I like to dress like US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and then get spanked with a rolled up copy of The Wall Street Journal, while my sweaty babe yells "House on fie, house on fire, put it out, put it out!""

PS. I feel I should tell you all I wrote this earlier in the day. Then I went out for happy hour and got a little drunk. Now I find everything hilariously awesome.

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  • At April 09, 2008 1:31 PM, Blogger Shannon Erin said…

    I think it might be time to move to Chicago. You'd like it here and there's lots of cute, single boys. I swearz.

  • At April 09, 2008 8:43 PM, Blogger Lincoln said…

    Oh man. That was a great post. It reminded me of two things:

    1. That I'm 28 and alone (it happens to the guys too).

    2. My grandma used to have one of those shitty kiddie pools. It was for her dogs.

  • At April 09, 2008 9:16 PM, Blogger Skeezix said…

    Shannon- there are so many places that sound good to me...Chicago, Boston and now Denver has apparently been overrun with cute men too.

  • At April 11, 2008 5:03 PM, Blogger Lincoln said…

    Um...don't forget Boise. Cute men in Boise in particular.

  • At April 11, 2008 7:56 PM, Blogger Skeezix said…

    Damn, how could I have forgotten to mention the cute man (men?) of Boise?!


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