Frightening Realization. Thursday, February 07, 2008Last night I managed to accumulate three hours total of sleep. That's it.
Between my mind being unwilling to shut off and then the nasty spat of storms that rolled through I just didn't sleep at all. Which is why I laid in bed until 8:15 this morning and didn't shower before coming into the office- hence the baseball hat and pony tail. The fact that I still managed to make a phone call to my sister (I needed reassurance I wasn't losing my mind) and make it into work by 8:45 is amazing. Actually that is the latest I've been in the office since I don't know when. If you would have told me that years ago I would have laughed in your face, by nature I'm much more of night owl. I could stay up all night reading, drawing, writing, and drinking. But slowly over the years I've forced myself to get up earlier and earlier. And come to the frightening realization that I sort of like it. I blame my father, the man is a natural morning person. I fear I caught it from him.
It is those little things that smack you full on in the face and you sit up and say "Holy shit. I'm turning into my mother/father." And then you cry into your plate of eggs.
It isn't that you don't love your parents but just that you never quite believed that you would become so very much like them. And really, my parents are wonderful people. I should want to emulate them in a lot of ways but there is still a small part of me that wants to be different- like a petulant teenager.