A life without meaning Thursday, January 11, 2007
There is something that drives me to near homicidal rage every singletime I see it.
Eharmony commercials.
I don't need to see overly happy couples hugging each other because they are so.damn.happy. that they found each other while I sit in my sweatpants on my couch all alone in my big, cold empty house. Living my unmeaningful shell of life because I am not complete without the opposite member sex partner beside me.
Perhaps all those couples really are happy, but to me they look like they have drunk the koolaid at camp crazy.
Don't they?
Plus the idea that all I've been missing in my love life is to be matched on 29 specific dimensions or however many dimensions there are to 'ensuring lasting love and happiness'. I kind of revel in the idea that all my relationships will fail because I'm not sure I could ever match 29 dimensions with any other person- ever. And really where did he come up with 29 dimensions, what if I have 32 dimensions I should be matched on to find meaningful love.
Have you ever tried to fill out their survey to locate your 29 dimensions? It is like taking the fucking SAT. I think I gave up after trying to fill in all the answers and realized I wasn't done after 20 minutes. Call me lazy but that is entirely too long for me to spend trying to determine if:
I am a happy person
A. all of the time
B. most of the time
C. Some of the time
D. Rarely
E. Never
Because the sarcastic bitch in me wants to put that I'm never happy thus entirely fucking up the dimensions. Plus, does anyone ever really say that they are never happy? 'I'm a terribly depressed person who can barely get out bed in the morning. Want to go on a date?'
If anything your rejection of them might crush the remaining bit of their will to live.
If it was really that easy to meet someone you could love it would remove a lot of the messy ups and downs. Not that I wouldn't mind the missing some of the aspects of dating-terrible first dates that won't end/ fantastic first dates and the anxious waiting by the phone hoping they will call (not that I can't call them- I know I could and do).
Maybe it is that they imply if you don't use their service you aren't serious about dating. As several people in the commercials say something to the effect of 'It was New Years Day and I decided it was time to be serious about finding love.'
Everyone else in the world who isn't using EHarmony is clearly looking willy nilly for love in all the wrong places and apparently going about it like troglodytes.
How in the world did people ever get married/find the love of the life before EHarmony? I guess it was just a solitary world with lots sad lonely people crying in dark corners so no one could see their shame at never having been loved.
Comments
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home