Something about entering Wal-Mart immediately causes my blood pressure to shoot through the roof. Regardless of what time of night or day I go in there it is always busy and I ALWAYS get stuck behind the jackass who is pushing/leaning on their cart with their forearms and shuffling oh-so-slowly along.

Seriously, pick up you damn feet and your slacked jaw and walk like the homo sapien that you are.

Because of this internal rage at the majority of the customers in Wal-Mart, I tend to rarely go there. The main reason I really don't go there is their unfair labor practices and history of discrimination. But unfortunately if you need anything that might possible not be available at Kroger or CVS or the single solitary department store in this town of 40,000- then you must go to Wal-Mart. Or drive 45 minutes to the nearest Target.

On most nights the 45 minute drive to and fro is not feasible. And thus I felt my rage several times this week because not only were the usual shuffling masses in Wal-Mart but now it was filled with all those other people who needed to buy presents and having the options of Goodies, Big Lots and Wal-Mart, they all chose Wal-Mart. So double the feet dragging, cart leaning people and you have a situation where I was sorely tempted to commit murder from my high atop perch on a shelf with guns and ammo from the gun department so conveniently located within the store.

I feel a bit bad for the cashiers who have to deal with these people day in and day out for spectacularly crappy wages. It is no wonder their dead glassy stares belie the happy, smiling obnoxious yellow face that is scattered about on every surface reminding customers that 'Wal-Mart is a happy place to be- see- smiling yellow smiley guy- everyone is happy! So very happy!'

I fully believe that Wal-Mart is creating a great creeping herd of slow moving consumer zombies herded by the dead-eyed cashiers and greeters in their diabolical bid to overtake the world.

Run for your lives people, run!



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